


New Memories Make the Heart Grow Fonder

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Post-Sirius in Azkaban, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:13:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5720608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius seeks out Remus after the end of GoF, but can things really be the same after his experiences in Azkaban?</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Memories Make the Heart Grow Fonder

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Lupin's consciousness slowly returned to him as he returned from his deep slumber. Before his senses were even fully awakened he could that tell something was wrong. Why was he in the bed inside his tent? Last night had been the night of the full moon and he had spent it outside in the nearby mountains, as he tended to do. Around the time the pale sun had risen over the tops of the cold and icy mountains Lupin had collapsed as the painful transformation again racked his exhausted body.

It was unlikely that a wandering or lost Muggle had happened upon his unconscious body. Very few ventured this far up into the mountain range. It was the very reason Remus Lupin had chosen this area as his temporary retreat from the harsh reality of life. He knew full well it wasn't possible to escape from his condition or the persecution he would always face because of it, but diversions were nice upon occasion.

Much like he couldn't avoid the coming battle with Voldemort if he did indeed rise again. This brief year of solitude was simply a calm before the storm, a momentary retreat, akin to the summer after graduating from Hogwarts that he had spent with Sirius. The memories of that summer made Remus smile to himself as he got out of bed.

Now, to investigate how he had mysteriously ended up in his bed, though Remus suspected he already knew the answer. Walking from his room, not bothering to change from the night robe he had found himself in, Remus spotted his answer sitting at the table in his kitchen. Sirius Black didn't even look up from his copy of the Daily Prophet as the other man entered.

"About time you woke up." Sirius's low voice almost growled.

"You know how I get after a transformation." Lupin said, glancing sideways at his friend as he conjured himself some breakfast from the pantry hidden somewhere within the tent's confines.

"You were never that hard to wake up before, Moony. You're just getting soft in your old age." Sirius finally glanced up and watched as Lupin leaned against the counter, holding a steaming cup of soup in his thin, pale hands. The slight twinkle in his pale gray eyes made Lupin laugh quietly at the joke.

"Just like old times, huh?" Remus asked. "You always did look out for me back then." Walking past Sirius to sit down in the other chair at the table, he ruffled Sirius's hair affectionately as he passed. He noticed the slight tremor that ran through his old friend at the contact. Maybe not as like old times as he had thought, Remus mused.

"Yeah, just like old times." The haunted tone of Sirius' voice almost stopped Lupin in his tracks. A lot of things could change in 12 years, especially when one of them had spent the majority of it locked up in a place that was frequently referred to as worse than hell. He watched Sirius as he sat at the breakfast table, sipping his soup. Sirius had rather suddenly become absorbed in the paper again after his last comment.

"See something interesting in there?" Lupin asked, attempting to restart the conversation. Sirius just shook his head.

"I've been looking for any information that has been written about the events at Hogwarts concerning the Triwizard tournament, but nothing so far. That conniving scum of a reporter seems to have dropped off the face of the earth."

"Are you trying to tell me that Harry isn't deranged and involved in a love triangle with Hermione and that Krum Snatcher person?" The tone of Remus's voice did not even remotely hide the sarcasm in his voice. Sirius's glare was response enough, causing the werewolf to smile. Carefully setting his soup down, he finally broached the question neither had wanted to bring up. "So what brings you to my humble abode, Sirius? Something tells me it wasn't just a desire to see your old partner in crime again." The words themselves held a deliberate meaning that neither of them missed, though the teasing tone in Remus's voice suggested he was referring to their times as pranksters. The teasing fell easily from his lips, just like it had yeas ago when they had been lovers. Though normally a very serious person, Lupin had discovered his sarcastic sense of humor thanks to the other man.

"Voldemort has risen again. He kidnapped Harry in the middle of the tournament and used Harry's blood to procure himself a new body. Most of the old death eaters that didn't go to. Azkaban are back again. Harry was able to escape, but not until after a classmate of his was killed. Someone named Cedric. Cedric." Sirius's tone was flat and he watched Remus shrewdly for the other man's reaction.

"Cedric Diggory. He is. was the prefect for Hufflepuff, nice young man." Lupin felt as if the bottom of his stomach had suddenly fallen out. Well, he had asked and Black was not one to beat around the bush with verbal pleasantry. For a moment he was slightly disappointed that Black hadn't come up here to see him. But it was foolish of him to think that after 12 years of separation the other man's feelings wouldn't have changed. "Did Dumbledore send you to find me?"

Sirius looked at Remus as his gaze snapped back up from where he'd been examining the table, his eyes unreadable. "Among other things."

"Other things?" Lupin asked, his voice dropping. He suddenly felt his exhaustion reappear, draining away any enthusiasm he might have had towards the conversation. After a short silence in which Black refused to elaborate on his comment, Lupin stood up and walked to the door. "I'm going for a walk." Sirius was silent as Remus stepped out of the tent. A moment later he felt a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from walking off.

"You're not going to run away on me, now are you, Moony?" The use of the old nickname made Lupin's heart lift a little, but he said nothing. "It's hard for me, to see you again, after all these years. But knowing you're not going to run away would make things a lot easier." When the werewolf continued to remain silent, Sirius, fearing he had already lost his friend, grabbed the other man and hugged him tightly, burying his face in Remus's soft hair.

Lupin, for his part, was trying to express the words stuck in his throat. But try as he might, he couldn't seem to get them out. Turning in the tight embrace, he held Black's face gently in his hands. "Sirius, you foolish man, I could never leave. You hold my." But then Sirius was kissing him, assaulting his senses as he had always been able to do, not bothering with words. Lupin's arms slid around the other man's neck and they stood there for long moments, desperately trying to communicate their emotions through their melded lips. When their lips finally broke apart, they remained in their clutching embrace, neither willing to let go.

"I was so worried that you'd have completely changed since I last saw you, that your feelings towards me would have changed. Padfoot, I nearly-" But Remus's comment was cut short by Sirius's quiet assertion.

"I did change, my feelings towards you have changed, Remus." Brief anger sparked in his dark eyes as he pulled away from the embrace. "Did you think that 12 years of imprisonment in Azkaban would leave me completely unchanged? That the dementors would have no effect upon me?" Lupin noticed the shudder than ran through the Black's frame as he relived some horrible memory.

"There is a reason all the people that go to Azkaban end up going mad. They suck up your happiness, all your hope, they steal it from you until none is left." Black turned away from his companion and stared up the steep slope of the looming mountain.

"The only reason I didn't go mad was because I knew I was innocent, but they took everything else away from me, Remus, everything. When I escaped, my only thought was to kill that rat, Peter. I didn't think of you once, couldn't think of you." As the words continued to fall from Sirius's mouth his tone became more and more accusing, so caught up in the horror of his memories he didn't even realize he was doing it. Whirling back around to face him, Sirius opened his mouth to continue speaking but the words died in his throat at Lupin's shuttered face. Black realized he'd hurt his friend with his outburst.

"Don't you see, Moony?" he asked softly. "When I first got out, I thought all my happiness had been sucked away. I thought there was nothing left." Pausing a moment, he looked searchingly into Lupin's turbulent blue eyes. "But I was wrong. As time passed, away from the dementors, and my strength of will grew, I realized I could still care. I knew that I had to protect Harry, because I loved him like I would my own son, and I realized that you still resided within my heart. Though the guards had sucked all my happiness, my. my."

Sirius looked decidedly uncomfortable for a moment, and when he continued his voice was rough with suppressed emotion, "my love for you was rekindled the moment I saw you at Hogwarts. I realized that though they could take my happiness, they couldn't take my memories of you, and all I had to do was look at you to remember why I loved you. Your eyes, your smile." Sirius was forced to stop talking as his throat closed up, restricted by the grief of his memory. "Sorry," he paused again for a moment before continuing, "it's been a long time since I've expressed so much emotion that wasn't hatred."

Lupin, for once, couldn't find anything to say. Sirius's confession had wrenched his heart and left him speechless. He bit his lip, trying to think of something to say. Sirius looked up at him and glared.

"Stop that."

Remus blinked, "Stop what?"

"Stop worrying your lip like that. How am I supposed to remain serious when you're irresistible like that?" At that, Lupin smirked and worried his lip some more, batting his eyes mournfully at Sirius. The dark haired man growled at him and pounced on him. They landed hard on the grass, both struggling for dominance. Finally, Remus gained the upper hand and pinned his friend to the ground.

Regarding Black for a moment, he asked a serious question, "Did you really forget about me in Azkaban?" Sirius didn't answer immediately as he pulled Lupin down on top of him and nuzzled his neck affectionately.

"It wasn't that I forgot you, Remus, it was more like I could no longer associate happiness with your memory. Everything, including my thoughts and memories, just became drab and depressing. It wasn't until I'd been out of Azkaban for some time that the color began to return to my thoughts and memories. Which was most certainly helped along by young Potter's support after he found out I was his godfather."

Lupin mused for a moment and grinned wolfishly, "So adding new happy memories helps put color back in the old ones, huh?" If Lupin had had his tail at that moment it surely would have been wagging. Sirius eyed him suspiciously, but nodded.

"Then I guess we'll just have to work on a whole lot of new. ah. memories." With that he repounced onto his lover, causing them to roll around in the soft grass again.

Again Remus ended up on top and he took advantage of the body sprawled beneath him, his tongue trailing down Sirius's neck and teasing the flesh revealed by the collar of the other man's robes. Sirius shuddered again, causing Remus to stop his ministrations immediately. Resting his head on his lover's chest, Lupin lay there for a moment.

"Are you sure you're ready to do this?" he asked quietly. For a long time Sirius didn't say anything, but Remus could feel his heart beating madly. Slowly the pulse of Black's heart slowed and he spoke.

"I'm fine." Lupin looked up and frowned at him.

"No, you're not. Every time I even touch you, you flinch. We don't have to do this if you're not ready. The fact that you're here, with me, of your own accord is enough," Lupin said, sliding off Sirius's body to lay beside him in the grass, head resting in the crook of the other's neck.

"No, it's not." Rolling over, Sirius proceeded to claim Remus's lips again. The werewolf submitted without protest, noticing that Sirius had less trouble with the contact when he was the initiator. Remus's hand trailed down the night robe Lupin was still wearing, stopping to tug at the belt holding it shut. "Were you really planning on going out for a walk in your night robe?" Black asked, grinning.

"Maybe." Lupin gasped as his companion's hand found its way inside his robes. "It's not like there's anyone around to notice."

"You always were an exhibitionist, Remus." Black's wandering hand brushed across one of Lupin's semi-erect nipples, causing the latter to moan slightly.

"That-" Lupin struggled to breathe evenly as Black slid down his body, pushed the open robe off his shoulders and bit gently at his chest. "I only streaked once and you know I only did it because you and James dared me too." Sirius drew small circles on Remus's chest with his tongue, leaving a trail of moisture behind. A sudden gust of wind across the mountain slope caused Lupin to shiver in his semi-dressed state. "Maybe we should take this inside," he suggested as he shivered again.

Black nodded his assent and sat up. After helping Lupin to his feet, he grasped the other's hand and led him back inside the tent. They walked in silence back into the bedroom of the magical tent. Lupin sat back on the bed, his night robe falling open around him. He waited for Sirius to join him, but the other man just stood there for a moment and simply looked at his companion.

"Something wrong, Padfoot?" Lupin asked, not daring to set Black's nerves on edge again by reaching out and touching him.

Walking over to the edge of the bed, Sirius continued to gaze down at Remus, his gaze soft. "Touch me." The words, softly spoken, sent a shiver down Lupin's spine.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked softly, tentatively reaching out and pulling at the clasps to Black's clothes. As his clothes fell to the floor, Black leaned in over his lover and kissed him again.

"If I wasn't sure about this, do you think I would be asking?"

"But you flinch every time I touch you, Sirius." Remus softly trailed his fingers down Black's arm, causing the man to shiver again.

"I'm not flinching, simply shivering in anticipation."

"Liar." Sirius didn't respond to Lupin's comment except to push him back onto the bed. Their mouths met again, quickly opening to allow better access. Lupin raised his arms to wrap them around his lover, only to find they were restrained by the sleeves of his robe. Quickly struggling out of the sleeves, he ran his hands down Sirius's side and rested one of the lightly on the leg that had been draped over him. The other hand stole down between Sirius's legs and stroked softly at the growing erection. Sirius groaned into his mouth and reached up to pinch at Lupin's nipples again.

With their legs intertwined as they were, it took only a slight shift of Black's body to bring their groins into contact. Remus's hand let go of the other man's rapidly hardening penis and drifted up to settle at his hip. With one hand at Black's hip and the other resting on his thigh, Remus used his leverage to pull Sirius even closer. They began softly thrusting against each other, their panting breaths filling the quiet room.

"This foreplay is nice, Remus, but if you're taking it slow on my account, don't bother. I want you. Now." Sirius said as he licked at the other's throat.

"And just who said you were going to be on top?" Lupin demanded with a grin. He nibbled at Sirius's ear; something he knew drove the other crazy.

"I don't care who's on top, just as long as we decide quickly."

"Impatient, aren't we?" Lupin said, but his comment trailed off into a groan as Black thrush up against him again.

"Remus." The name was ground out of Black's lips as he thrust against Lupin again. "Where is the lubricant?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Black's tone was incredulous as he stared down at Lupin.

"It's been a while." Lupin looked away, as if embarrassed. He muttered softly and a small jar flew out of the closet into his hand. Handing the lubricant to Sirius, he gazed up into the other's bright blue eyes.

"You sure?" Sirius asked him, already unscrewing the top and dipping his fingers in.

"That's supposed to be my line." Lupin smirked and grasped Sirius's wrist, guiding the other's greased fingers to his entrance. He worried at his lip as he struggled to relax and not clench up at his lover's invading fingers.

"Do you remember the time you were drunk and tried to create a self-lubricating charm? I had some sort of slime oozing out of every pore on my body for a week." Sirius nearly choked at Lupin's comment, but then grinned down at his lover.

"How could I forget? It worked. Too bad there were a couple minor side effects." Lupin laughed, his voice soft and sweet. The laugh quickly turned into a groan when the other man's fingers began sending sparks of erotic sensation through his body. Leaning over, he kissed Remus again. When Remus had sufficiently relaxed, Black withdrew his fingers. Remus started to roll over onto his stomach, but was stopped by Sirius.

"Don't roll over, I want to be able to see your face." Remus nodded and spread his legs wider. Sirius slid over and positioned himself properly. Remus's breath stuttered as he felt the other man's member beginning to press into him. Sirius slowly pushed himself into his lover, not wanting to hurt him. When he was seated completely inside Remus he leaned down and rained kisses on his lover's strained face. Remus slowly relaxed as Sirius's small trusts slowly began to gain in intensity. Slowly they thrust against each other, their lips meeting again.

"Faster, Sirius." Lupin murmured into his ear and Black complied without complaint. The pace of their lovemaking began to increase as they came closer to the edge. Remus's breath became ragged when Sirius shifted slightly and his thrusts began sending more sparks flying along Remus's nerves. Lupin suddenly found himself on the verge of orgasm and he bit into his lover's shoulder as he came. Sirius panted as the warm body surrounding him suddenly clenched up, driving him closer to the edge. It was when he felt Lupin bury his teeth into his shoulder that he lost it, the simple act speaking more to him than words could.

When they had first become lovers Remus would bite his own hand during sex, never letting himself bite Sirius. As their relationship had progressed and become more serious, though neither talked about it, Remus began to bite him. At first Sirius didn't put any weight behind it, until he read in one of his textbooks that biting during a coupling was a werewolf's method of claiming a mate. All Black's worries that Remus wasn't serious about him had vanished in that instant and his biting had taken a whole new light. So with such a simple act as biting his lover, Remus could express his love for Sirius without words. Sirius groaned as he spent himself inside Remus and collapsed on top of him. Their ragged breathing slowly evening out as they lay tangled in each other's arms. Lupin carefully reached around his lover and pulled the blankets up around them.

"I love you more than life itself, Sirius, but we really have work on this denial problem you have." Lupin said quietly, running his hands down Sirius's back. The other man tensed for a moment and then forced himself to relax slightly.

"I don't have a problem with denial." Black said with a slight growl. He kissed Remus's cheek as he shifted off his lover and slightly to the side.

"Sure you don't, love." Lupin said indulgently and curled around his lover. "Go to sleep and rest." In each other's arms, they drifted off into a light sleep.


End file.
